Long, Winding Road
by smallboxes
Summary: Her name was Jackie and the only thing Drake knew about her was that her favorite flavor of gum was spearmint Oneshot sequel to Loss of Control.


_A/N: I do not own Drake & Josh. Any and all reviews are appreciated. This is a sort of sequel to "Loss of Control", but you don't really need to read that story to understand this one (although it'd be great if you did!). This is a Drake-centric, oneshot fic. Enjoy!_

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Drake had no specific destination in mind when he hopped into the driver's seat, keys jangling in his pocket. He just knew that putting the car in drive and heading out toward open road seemed like a good idea. It calmed him down most when he was able to get behind the wheel of a car and to have a sense of control over his car, himself, his situation…whatever. It felt good to get away from Josh and his probing questions; questions that Drake didn't necessarily want to give answers to. It's not that he didn't trust his brother with his secrets, but he didn't want to give _all_ of them away.

Once out of his own subdivision, Drake flipped on the radio. It was in music that he'd always been able to find solace and comfort in knowing that even if his life was screwed up at the moment, a few tunes could make him feel better about it.

He recognized the guitar licks coming from the stereo in an instant, feeling his arms stiffen and his hands gripping the wheel tighter.

_Bell bottom blues, you made me cry / I don't want to lose this feeling / And if I could choose a place to die / It would be in your arms_

Drake turned the radio off, and then back on again. He fiddled with the volume, unable to make up his mind. In the end, he drove up to a stop light and left the radio as it was, music pouring out of the speakers and washing over him. It was one of the songs that made him instantly remember his dad, back when Drake was a really young. It was a great Clapton song, one of the reasons he wanted to play guitar when he was young. To be able to play great music, just like Clapton. Just like Dad.

He'd been too young when his dad had walked out. Megan hadn't even been born yet and when he really thought about it, Drake was disgusted with his father for leaving his mom alone with a five year old when she was also six months pregnant. His mom had been strong though, and he had always admired her for that. Now that he was older, Drake could see and understand how hard it had been for her to keep the family together until she'd met Walter. The same couldn't have been said before Walter and Josh came into the Parkers' lives, before they created a balance between the two families. It embarrassed Drake to realize how selfish and rebellious he'd acted toward the parent who stuck around, the one who actually _cared_.

As the song reached the chorus, Drake sighed and flipped his head so that his hair was somewhat swept out of his eyes. He snapped the radio off, but the memories kept coming anyway, so it didn't make much of a difference. Josh had wanted to know why his brother still hadn't had sex yet; all he would have to do was play this song and Drake would remember why.

Her name was Jackie and the only thing he knew about her was that her favorite flavor of gum was spearmint. She always tasted of it whenever they made out in the bleachers by the football field, in a totally cliché high school way. Hell, he could've cared less about how cliché it was – Drake was fourteen and feeling pretty good about himself to keep making out with this totally awesome sophomore behind the school everyday, skipping study hall or meeting after last bell. The relationship (if it could even be called that) was purely physical and Drake found himself being consistently ruled by his overactive hormones, always coming back for more.

Jackie flirted with him, teased him, taunted him, and then out of the blue one day asked to come over to his house after school. When Drake had told her sure, no one was going to be home, there was a mischievous glint in her eye that made him wonder what exactly she had in mind.

Audrey wasn't supposed to come home. He knew that his mom would leave work, pick up Megan from school, take Megan to piano lessons, and then head back to work while the babysitter picked up Megan and took care of the two of them until Audrey was finished up.

Drake's eyes wandered from the road to the field he was passing and back to the road as he cringed at thinking of what had happened next. His mom had come home early and was surprised to see two half naked teenagers involved in some intense making out as her son's hand was up this strange girl's skirt. Audrey, rightly so, flew off the handle and had thrown Jackie out of the house, tossing her shirt and purse at her as she literally pushed Jackie out the door.

The fighting had been a constant thing between Drake and Audrey ever since he had entered high school. This time, it was the fight to end all fights with plenty of screaming and threatening as both sides became increasingly frustrated with the situation they were in. Neither one of them wanted to admit that the loss of a dependable father figure had caused Drake's personality switch. They were too busy yelling and arguing to figure out the issues, but they knew it was wearing thin on both of them.

That night, Audrey had come into his spacious bedroom and actually talked to Drake for the first time in what felt like months. He was always surprised that they hadn't blown up into an argument, and Drake credited his mom with the fact that she was actually upfront with him on things he needed answered. All kinds of questions he had on his parents' marriage were answered honestly and Audrey was able to have a heart to heart with her son on his ridiculous behavior. They both knew he was better than that.

The story that stuck with Drake, however, was when the two of them started talking about himself and Megan being born. For the first time, Audrey admitted that she'd had a miscarriage before Drake had come along.

"_We were so young sweetie, not even twenty one yet. But we got married and we were in love and then I got pregnant so fast. Looking back, your dad probably would've left then if I hadn't lost the baby as early on as I did." _

"_But he stayed when you had me."_

"_You're right, he did. It was a lot more complicated than that though. Try as I did to convince him otherwise, your dad never felt like he was cut out for fatherhood. He loved you so much, I know he did. But as I said, we were young. He hadn't quite mastered the ability to be responsible yet and he never felt like he was good enough for you, or me. And when I became pregnant with Megan…I think it finally became too much for him."_

"_I'm so sorry mom. Really, for everything. Not just dad, but for this afternoon with that girl…it's not gonna happen again."_

"_Shh, it's okay." Audrey kissed her son's forehead, grateful for the time spent with him. "C'mon Drake, you should probably get ready for bed."_

"_Yeah, I'll get ready in a sec." Audrey got up from the bed and crossed the room as Drake popped a CD into the player next to his bed. The familiar guitar riff came out of the speakers and Audrey stopped when she got to the door._

"_Wow, I haven't heard that song in years. Do you remember it? It was a long time ago."_

"_Nah mom, it's just a great Eric Clapton song. I can almost play it perfectly on my guitar."_

_She gave him a sad smile as she opened the door. Audrey leaned against the doorframe, listening. "It's just…your dad used to listen to this song. He wanted to be just like Eric Clapton too."_

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It was dark when Drake pulled into the driveway. The song still haunted and floated in his head, but he was sick of analyzing it and worrying about how he felt. It was a great song, but to Drake it embodied his father, someone he didn't want to associate himself with. Drake wasn't going to make the same mistakes his father made; knocking up a girl and then bailing when things got too rough. His mom had made him aware that he was better than that, that she helped Drake _become_ better than that. He would wait for his moment when the time was right.

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FIN.

_The song used in this fic is Bell Bottom Blues - Eric Clapton _


End file.
